Uncle Gary Touched Me…With An Axe!
A future film by Travis Betz
When the Longhorn family’s flight to the Bahamas is snowed in, they decide to use their obnoxious wealth to turn an abandon insane asylum into a tropical paradise by adding sand, UV lights, and enough rum to kill a pirate captain. Paradise seems to have been found…that is until Uncle Gary, who’s been living in the crumbling walls, pokes his head out and crashes the fun in their “sun”. Wielding his most favorite axe – the very one he used to remove his own penis several years prior because he claimed it, “couldn’t keep a secret.” – Uncle Gary goes on a classic slasher killing spree, splitting the Longhorn family wide open and laughing at how stupid their insides are. Wasted on Mai-Tai’s, the Longhorn’s must fight against this maniac who can’t be bought, and survive a night in their rusted-tropical Hell.
“A blistering commentary on the dangers of gossip-heavy penises and the unstable men they’re attached to.”
– Isn’t it Dope News
“This movie does not line up all that great with Dark Side of the Moon.”
– Jason the Pot Smoker
“Shines a shocking light on Uncle’s everywhere”
– Aunt’s Against Uncles Foundation
“A misunderstood fable that hates you as much as you hate it.”
– Pat Robertson’s Cinegasm